Thursday, March 29, 2012

Fuckathon Time!!

Two days ago
Me: Do you have to study today
Husband: Yes
Me: Fuck first or fuck after?
Husband: Hummmm... fuck first
Husband: Gotta do some studying today
Me: (the usual) Fuck first or fuck after?
Husband: How about fuck tomorrow?
Me: No... today
Husband: Why today?
Me: Because we have dumb fuck luck
Husband: Hey, no need to get mad
Me: Not mad. We have dumb fuck luck: Every time we say “let’s skip sex tonight” I ovulate. Not taking chances this cycle.
Husband: Ok fuck after then. Wait up for me and we’ll make some good fuck luck
And then there is the once in a blue moon conversation
Husband: Again? We had sex yesterday, can we skip today. I’m really not in the mood tonight
Me: Ok, no problem.
(couple of minutes later)
Husband: Are you watching porn? Is that a vibrator?
Me: Yeah
Husband: Huuuummmm I guess I am in the mood after all
It’s kind of a funny game we play. I stopped pretending we were not having sex with purpose and he stopped pretending he believed me at the advice of a book (What He Can Expect when She is NOT Expecting - which I truly recommend for all couples out there in our situation). Amazingly enough, even though it can feel like a chore sometimes, we still make it work. I gave up on the “just in case no blow jobs” point of view. If we have to do it everyday then he gets blow jobs everyday as foreplay. Why? Because my husband is awesome like that and deserves it. And I am sure he pushes through sometimes as well. After all every month for one week we engage on what we call the “Fuckathon” the every other day (every day this cycle because we’re determined damn it!) fertility window fuck fest. At some point he has to get tired of it. And yes the f word gets thrown around quite a bit during that window (in case you haven’t noticed).
And now? I am here waiting for him to come home to fuck. And then I will go straight into Fertility Friend and mark “PM” under intercourse. It’s the fertility version of singing “I just had seeeeeeeeeeeeeex and it feeeeeeeelt so goooooood” (which is why you guys are listening to that song).

ETA: We did had sex and my temp spiked this morning. I told him if we would skip sex it was going to be dumb fuck luck again. Yeah! I just had seeeeeeeeeeeex!

Month 13 - CD12

Wednesday, March 7, 2012


Since the last post I have started the journey to understand why, if there is a reason, my husband and I have been unsuccessful in conceiving. Because of the great relationship I maintain with my ob/gyn I have decided to stick with him until he communicates a need for a procedure he does not perform.
The first appointment went exactly as I expected. He checked my charts, asked about my OPK (Ovulation Predictor Kit) usage, length of lutheal phase, etc. As usual I came armed with a huge amount of questions compiled during one of my many researches on the internet. While I seemed to look to complicate this to the uttermost amount, he preferred to keep it simple. He ordered a HSG, Cycle day 3 exams (FSH, LH, etc).
I was terrified about the HSG... I had heard so many horror stories about excruciating pain throughout the procedure and how you need to have pain killers (and some even suggested anti-anxiety medication. Well I am allergic to NSAIDs and Acetaminophen so pain killers were out of the question. I had to face it “raw”, and I was not happy about it. My husband came with me, as requested, for moral support although he kept repeating I was simply psyching myself out about the whole procedure.
They took me to a hospital looking area called “recovery room” and asked about the medical history for me and the whole family. I dressed similarly to how we normally dress in a pre-op situation (let me state here that all that formality was not helping me to calm down). Once the nurse was done with asking a thousand questions they took me to what looked like an Xray machine room. I laid down and propped my legs up. My husband sat next to me and gave me his hand.... ok so maybe I stole his hand and he did not dare complain.
The beginning was like a pap exam, one tool placed inside of me, a little swab, and then the catheter was inserted. I thought “eh, this does not hurt,” then I felt a bit of disconfort and he said I was a bit obstructed so he was going to use a little more pressure. At that point I felt what could be described as a moderate menstrual cramp. Strong, but bearable like they all are (and because, well do we have a choice other than to endure it?). That lasted for about a minute or two and I heard the doctor say “ok it’s clear now, you are all done”
I got up as people were asking if I was dizzy, sick, or anything. Nope, I felt fine just a bit crampy. I went to the bathroom to change back in my dignified woman’s clothes (read not a hospital gown) and as soon as I bent over I was overwhelmed by a sense of nausea. That caused me to sit for about 15 minutes in the recovery room before going home.
They told me we have tripled the chance for this cycle, and doubled for the next two cycles. So DH and I have started the “fuckathon” portion of the cycle. The only issue is that I am still waiting to O on CD15. My temp did spike this morning but I believe it might have something to do with the 3 glasses of wine I drank yesterday. We’ll see what tomorrow has in storage for me.